In this series about planning a truly great photo session (click here to catch up) I’ve decided to really go at it on this one because this topic is incredibly important! When I say that “The Attitudes” are very important to having a truly great family session, I mean the attitudes of all the family members involved. No, this isn’t an “attitude is everything” speech and I don’t even mean everyone should be happy (although that would be great as well). What I mean is that there is a lot of pressure and expectations for family picture day. So many in fact, that those things alone can actually ruin picture day… and the pictures that go with picture day.
So when I say attitudes I’m talking about your attitude about the session. That is what will REALLY set the tone for the day.
So let’s talk about the Cottrell’s attitude towards their session…
I mentioned in the first post that Nicole came to me with all sorts of ideas and most of it was based around a family photo session done by another photographer that I had shared on my personal Facebook page because I loved it so much. The thing with this session was that this couple’s SEVEN children were all super well-behaved, seemingly expert fashion models who all apparently came out of the womb with the ability to hold their own unique poses for as long as a photographer requested. Seriously, these kids snapped into poses so difficult that even adults can’t do them and held them long enough for the photographer to get several great shots from it… it must be genetic or something. Whatever it is, it is definitely a high standard to base your photo session on… which we made the mistake of doing.
Only, it wasn’t actually a mistake because it happened to turn out great for one reason and one reason alone… the parents let go of their expectations in the very beginning of the session.
Sure a perfectly poised, well manicured group of little ones is quite a stunning site… but a slightly off kilter, very rambunctious set of siblings having a blast together is even better than a “perfect” photo.
(This picture of her dad trying to prevent her from crushing her brother’s head makes me literally laugh out loud every single time I see it. See, Scottie just now came in the room to see what I was laughing about).
I think we all know that natural is better, but for some reason it’s still hard to believe it and we still try to get the kids to sit and behave like angels for a good hour and a half. Not going to happen.
Even if it does work out from time to time, I’m not totally sure that’s the way a family photo session should be!
Every once in awhile, we are able to get some cool posed shots with kids, like this one of The Ellison family…
(Best signage ever!)
…but I STILL like the ones where they got to be themselves much better!
So here is Nicole and Jon trying to pose their munchkins into perfect little manicans while the kids continue to jump and bounce right out of their hands.
I’m not kidding, that little girl bounced around CONSTANTLY.
I felt lucky that we were able to get at least some pictures without her red curls standing straight up over her head!
So I was sooo relieved when I saw Nicole and Jon just throw up their hands and say “whatever, let’s just let them do their thing”.
(I totally love this picture where both kids are unhappy and Jon and Nicole are just cracking up about it! Chip and Kay have a similar photo below from their session where both kids are crying and they can’t stop laughing because they’ve just chosen to enjoy every second of it no matter what).
Below is the photo series where you can actual see Nicole making the choice to relax and let go!
Ha ha I LOOOOVE IT!
I remember a lady I used to babysit for had 3 GIANT prints hanging in her hallway and each one was a photo of each of her kid’s screaming, crying face filling the entire frame! Awesome.
I’m not a mom yet, but according to my mom, you just miss your kids being little.
That means you miss their little feet, their little hands, their ever changing personalities at different stages… even maybe the way they looked when they cried. That was who they were then and it was your whole world for a time… and you might not have a single picture of it. You might wish you could remember their pouty face, but you just can’t quite recall it and you wish you had a picture of it.
(or you’ll miss their little mischievous face… like the one this little guy is showcasing for us!)
No one with grown children has ever told me they wish they had more pictures of their kids smiling at the camera or sitting up straight in green grass. That’s not life, it’s not them, and it’s not you. You, your kids, and your family in this particular stage you are in is what we’re trying to capture.
Another important note on this point is that… WE DO NOT JUDGE YOU!!!
Sometimes I think half of the reason parents spend majority of picture day trying to wrangle and control their kids is because they’re embarrassed by their kids “bad” behavior. Just so you know, most people in this world (including kids) don’t love picture day. Which means we’ve seen it all and it seems like at almost every single photo session the parents have said to us, “I just don’t know what happened today, they never act like this! Of course it would happen on picture day!”
Yeah, of course, because when else are you commanding them to do things they never actually do in normal life, or getting in huge fights and then smiling like it’s all OK 15 seconds later, or punishing them for being shy, or yelling at them for not being happy?! It’s a weird thing, picture day is! And kids don’t like it anymore than adults. But it doesn’t have to be this way! It can be MUCH more natural and relaxed and even actually… fun (gasp)! Sure, we’ll try to get at least 1 or 2 photos of the whole family sitting, smiling and looking good and we don’t want ALL the pictures to be them crying and screaming! We want a balance that shows who you really are!
Sometimes that means you are all posed so we can see your faces to just know what you actually look like, and sometimes that means you are upset, and sometimes laughing uncontrollably. Don’t limit yourselves to only show one side of your family on picture day. Especially when it comes to your kids… let them be themselves, not the version of them you want them to be that you’re excited to show off to people.
(As you can see in the following two pictures, upside down is as good a side as any to show off … maybe even better than right side up at times!).
Stop worrying about how everyone is perceiving you…from the family members who will see the pictures, to your photographers themselves… none of your memories matter as much to any of us as they do to you. Relax and allow us to capture the meaning in your life, not the vision of a perfect family that you have in your head.
(Uh oh, someone’s about to be in trouble!)
So while I just went on and on about relaxing and being “real”, I know there is still some level of order and organization that needs to go into a family photo session, so I say, follow the Cottrell’s example and bring along a third party to take care of all that for you. Nicole and Jon brought along the kids babysitter on family photo day. So when it came time for clothing changes, rounding them up, making sure they don’t run straight into the busy street that was 2 feet away…. all of that was handled by the babysitter so that Jon and Nicole could JUST HAVE FUN with their kids!
When you are chasing them around and digging through the bag for their snacks, while trying to smile and look all put together… the stress and tension in you does show up. We have had several family sessions in the past where it has been difficult to get a single photo of the parents smiling. That is so sad! We want you to remember the moments that we’re capturing as some of the best times your family ever had together! I know that real life does get in the way and prevent you from spending fun, quality time with your children as much as you’d like to, but that’s why you bring along an assistant to take care of the real life stuff to allow you to be your real selves with each other (not just the jumbled balls of stress you tend to turn into) and truly enjoy your family without all the junk getting in the way that makes it difficult.
So while you’re working on planning the timing and style of your session… make sure you take time to think about your expectations. Having a plan is good because we’ll at least start with that. But once things get rolling, take a deep breathe and let it go… and then start laughing out loud a little bit and I’ll bet that will make everyone else start laughing out loud a lot. And you’re on your way to a truly great family photo session.
Next time I’ll talk about how interactions affect family photo sessions. Click here to start this series from the beginning.
(Russell’s face the first time he saw her that day! I LOOOOVE this picture!).
(Like all the Christmas shinys they got in this picture!!).
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If you’ve been following Radiant for long, you know that it is my (Breanna’s) calling in life to get the perfect shoe shot (well not really, let’s hope there’s something a little more substantial than that in my destiny!), and thanks to Maricela and Russell’s great taste in transportation, I just may have achieved all my hopes and dreams in this one shot!
PERFECT isn’t it?!?! Shiny, ruffles, silver, classic car, bling, Jimmy Choo, red toenails, bokeh background lights… sigh.
To kick off the dancing entertainment at the reception, Maricela and her bridesmaids performed an AWESOME choreographed dance, that led right into a series of ballroom dances performed by both Maricela and Russell’s family members… finished off with a grand finale by the guests of honor themselves.
(Yes, that’s how you get to wear TWO wedding dresses… just make one of them a ballroom dancing gown!)
I say that because I don’t know if I have ever seen a group of people more naturally gifted at dancing than the people at this wedding!
It must be genetic or something (or maybe it was the ballroom dancing lesson all the guests participated in earlier in the night!) because I swear that every single person of all ages on that dance floor throughout the night seemed to instinctively know how to “drop it like it’s hot”!
(I just put this picture in because this baby’s so adorable and it makes me laugh every time!).
This session was a two day long adventure full of laughs, beautiful sights, and lots of firsts for both Josh and I as well as Jen and David. For example, while at the location pictured above, 
After Tatton Park, we drove over to Erddig, which is a large stately home on the outskirts of Wrexham, Wales. I was sure that Mr. Darcy was going to walk right out of this house and give us a tour. In case you’re wondering, that didn’t happen. Not to worry, we didn’t need any Jane Austen characters to make this a romantic location. It was beautiful all on it’s own, and David and Jen are obviously one of the cutest couples around.
(Seriously, how cute are they?)
While at Erddig, David was coerced by a very persistent elderly salesman, to join the National Trust (an organization whose goal is to preserve and protect historic areas and buildings in certain areas of the UK). This was definitely a first for him, as National Trust memberships are apparently reserved for people who like to go to bed at 6pm and play BINGO on Friday nights, if you know what I mean.
We had a few laughs about David being the newest member of the Nation Trust Organization, and then we put that new membership to use by heading to another Nation Trust location, Chirk Castle. All I can say about this location is that it was astonishingly beautiful.
The garden area out back was even more gorgeous!
After exploring the castle for a while, we were off to our next location. While driving through Horseshoe Pass, this was our view! Simply breathtaking. We just had to pull over and get a couple of shots!
After this, we decided to head to dinner. Josh and David chatted about technology (they are both hardcore Mac nerds) and tried to explain things to Jen and me by using our water glasses and salt shakers to represent “Apple” and “iOS”… Poor Jen and I, who were both thoroughly confused at this point, just looked at each other and laughed. I can tell that she loves her Mac nerd as much as I love mine.
After dinner, David and Jen, being the amazingly hospitable people they are, let us stay with them for the night. We stayed in Jen’s Parents’ beautiful home, where we chatted and had tea and biscuits. Jen made me my very first cup of English tea with milk, and I can confidently say that it was delicious!
The next day we got a few shots at the house before heading out for our final adventure.
Jen and David drove us to Chester, a town with many interesting historical areas and structures, including a beautiful large wall that wraps around the entire town. We spent the afternoon walking along the wall and taking in the sites.
(This is the area where Jen and David do their Christmas shopping. Somehow the mall I shop in is just not the same…)
(These two are constantly making each other laugh!)
So, what do you think? Amazing right? Josh and I are so happy that we had the opportunity to meet Jen and David and share a couple of special days with them. Congratulations on your engagement you two, and thank you for an amazing tour!
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